Tuesday, September 10, 2013 
More house sale stuff today... the buyers appraiser was here and our first low ball offers on a farm in Colrain were countered higher than we want to go.  I have many conflicting feelings about all of this.  First, not having the buyer jump at our house at the full price feels like a rejection (even though rationally I know it is not).  I've lived here for most of twenty-eight years and put a lot of time, effort and money into it.  How dare anyone not love it?  Also, the prospect of leaving Leverett where I have so many friends and where Mt Toby meeting is.  I was a policeman here for 8 years and a selectman for more than four.  Wherever I go will be starting new... not an easy concept when you're in your seventieth year.  Then there's having your first choice for a new farm slipping out of your reach and having to settle for a second or third choice.  Isn't living a good, long life up to this point worth something on the farm marketplace?  Finally, all this whining and kvetching is eating away at the edges of my soul.  I need to maintain an 'attitude of gratitude' and not succumb to the hubris most entitled middle class American men wallow in.  Writing in this blog is one attempt to accept what life gives me, to take peaceful joy in the gifts that I have been given.

I worked 3-11 at the hospital this evening.  I have three days off coming up.  Jill has left me a comprehensive list of things we need to do during that time and all I want to do is nap and read.  I'll feel better in the morning.